Deciding to start couples therapy is a big step, and it can often take a long time to reach that point alone.
But having made that decision, what comes next?
Starting couples therapy can feel like a leap into the unknown, and it’s completely normal to have questions, concerns, and maybe even some hesitation.
Afterall, you’re not only opening up about your relationship – you’re doing it in front of someone else. And it takes courage to face relationship challenges head-on.
Whether you’ve already booked your first couples therapy session or are still exploring whether relationship counseling is right for you, this guide will walk you through everything you’ll want to know – from what your first couples therapy session might look like to what to expect as therapy progresses, and how REACH Behavioral Health can support you on the journey. Couples therapy is one of the most benefical things you can do for any relationship – not ony those in crisis – and we’re here to ease some of the uncertainty, and help you feel more prepared for the journey ahead.
Is couples therapy right for us?
Couples therapy – also known as relationship counseling or marriage counseling – can be helpful for couples at all stages, whether you’re dating, engaged, married, or somewhere in between, and for a wide range of different reasons.
That said, most couples do turn to therapy when they’re facing problems that they know are affecting their relationship.
Some of the most common reasons couples start relationship counseling include:
- Frequent misunderstandings or communication breakdowns
- Repeated arguments or unresolved conflicts
- Feeling emotionally disconnected or misunderstood
- Intimacy issues or changes in physical closeness
- Trust concerns or past betrayals
- Life transitions like becoming parents, moving, or job stress
However, many couples use relationship counseling to strengthen an already solid relationship or to navigate new phases of life together. It isn’t just for relationships in crisis, and it isn’t only for married couples.
Ultimately, couples therapy is about giving yourself the time, space, and opportunity to explore and strengthen your relationship.
With professional guidance, it becomes easier to broach difficult topics, hear each other out, and develop healthier ways to communicate, connect, and support one another.
It’s about better understanding each other’s thoughts and feelings, gaining insight into individual needs, breaking unhelpful patterns, and learning how to relate in more supportive and meaningful ways.
Common concerns about starting relationship counseling
It’s completely normal to feel nervous about starting couples therapy. You’re opening up about something deeply personal, and that can feel vulnerable. But rest assured, you’re not alone in those feelings.
Here are some of the most common concerns people have before their first couples therapy session, and why you don’t need to worry:
Will the therapist take sides?
No. A good couples therapist is trained to remain neutral and focused on supporting both partners equally.
Will we have to share all our most personal issues?
You’ll never be pressured to share more than you’re ready for, but therapy is most effective when you’re as open and honest as possible. Remember, therapy is a safe, confidential space and your therapist is there to support – not judge – you.
What if we have different goals?
That’s actually very common. Your therapist will help you explore each of your perspectives and work toward shared goals, even if you start out in different places.
What if my partner isn’t fully committed?
Therapy works best when both partners are open to the process – but even if one of you is more hesitant, progress can still happen. Sometimes, just showing up is the first step.
What if things come out that make our relationship worse?
While therapy can bring up difficult truths, it’s designed to help you navigate them safely and constructively. Many couples find that even uncomfortable conversations lead to greater understanding and closeness.
What if there are things I don’t want my partner to know?
It’s okay to have boundaries. You can speak privately with your therapist if needed, and they’ll guide you in deciding what to share and when. The goal is always respect and emotional safety for both partners.
What if it doesn’t work?
Therapy isn’t a quick fix, and it doesn’t guarantee a specific outcome. But it does provide a space to learn, grow, and gain clarity. Whether your relationship deepens or you make a different decision, you’ll be doing so with insight and intention.What happens in marriage or relationship counseling sessions?
Every couple is different, and so is every therapy journey. But at its core, relationship counseling is a process of open dialogue and guided reflection. Your therapist will help you both express your needs, really listen to one another, and explore how to improve the relationship dynamic.
What to expect in your first couples therapy session
Understanding exactly what happens in marriage or relationship counseling is always one of the biggest questions, so here’s a closer look at what to expect.
Your first couples therapy session is all about laying the groundwork.
It’s a calm, structured conversation designed to help your therapist get to know both of you – and help you feel more at ease with the process.
This usually involves:
- An introduction from your therapist and more about how the sessions will work and be structured.
- An opportunity for you to ask questions or raise any concerns you might have.
- Sharing a brief overview of your relationship – how you met, key milestones, and current challenges.
- Some background about each of you individually, including any relevant personal factors, past experiences, mental health history, etc.
- Disscussing what’s brought you to therapy now, and what each of you is hoping to achieve.
It’s perfectly normal if you’re not entirely sure of your goals. Your therapist will help you explore them together and begin identifying areas of focus for future sessions.Most couples find the first couple therapy session feels like a natural “getting to know you” conversation. While it might not feel as though you’re achieving a lot in the first session, it’s a vital starting point, and you’re laying the foundation for real progress.
What to expect from relationship counseling after your first session
Couples therapy isn’t a one-size-fits-all process, and it’s not a quick fix. It unfolds gradually, session by session, and your therapist will tailor the sessions to meet both of your needs.
In the early sessions, the focus is often on identifying and exploring key themes or problems within your relationship, such as:
- How you each approach conflict
- Emotional needs and communication styles
- Where one or both of you feel stuck
- How you connect emotionally
- Past issues that continue to affect the present
As therapy progresses, you’ll typically move into more actionable work, with your therapist providing tools and strategies to help you work on:
- Improving communication
- Resolving conflicts in healthy ways
- Understanding and responsing to each other’s needs
- Navigating specific challenges
You and your partners will usually attend sessions together, although in some cases individual sessions may be suggested – especially if one partner needs space to explore personal issues that are impacting the relationship.
The frequency of sessions can vary, as can the total duration. Many couples begin with weekly sessions, then shift to biweekly or monthly as they gain momentum.
You and your therapist will agree on a pace that suits your needs, and you’ll revisit that plan regularly to ensure it continues to feel right.
How to prepare for your first couples therapy session
Your therapist is there to guide you, so you don’t necessarily need to prepare at all. But giving it a bit of thought can help ease nerves, and help you get the most out of your sessions early on.
Our guide on what to talk about in therapy can be a helpful starting point.
If you can, talk with your partner ahead of time about what you’re each hoping to get out of the experience. If your goals differ, or if you don’t even know what they are, that’s completely okay – the relationship counseling will help clarify and align them.
Most important is to be open to the process. It’s natural to feel nervous, but remember that this is your therapists job – they are trained and experienced, and will be able to guide and support you every step of the way.
When other types of therapy might be more appropriate
Sometimes, what seems like a relationship issue may actually be connected to broader factors – like parenting stress, past trauma, or individual mental health challenges.
In these cases, couples therapy or marriage counseling might still be helpful, but it may not be the whole solution.
For example:
- If challenges stem from family dynamics – like blended family tensions or unresolved issues with children or extended relatives, family therapy may be more beneficial, either on its own or alongside couples sessions.
- If one or both partners are struggling with personal challenges, such as anxiety, depression, or unresolved past experiences, individual therapy may be an important part of the process too.
At REACH, we offer all of these services and can help you determine what kind of support is best for your situation. Your therapist will guide you through the options, so you don’t have to figure it out alone.
Getting relationship counseling at REACH Ohio
Starting couples therapy shows strength – it means you care about your relationship and want to grow together.
Your first couples therapy session may bring up a mix of emotions, but over time, it can become a powerful space for connection, reflection, and growth.
If you and your partner are ready to take that next step, REACH Behavioral Health Ohio is here to help.
At REACH, we offer both in-person and online relationship counseling for Ohio residents, so you can choose the setting that works best for you.
We have a large team of therapists, experienced in supporting couples through a wide range of relationship dynamics – from communication breakdowns to intimacy issues to working through major life transitions. We’ll start by understanding your situation and needs, and then match you with the therapist that will be your best fit.
Remember, it’s normal to have ups and downs in relationships. Couples therapy isn’t a sign of failure, it’s a proactive way to work through the difficult times and come out stronger.
Contact us today, and find out how we can help bring that spark back into your relationship.